A good friend of mine recently suggested I watch a Netflix show called “Turned On” Episode Two. Why? He wanted me to see how both men and women approach Bumble and other dating apps. It was paramount that I see a man’s take on how they peruse the sites.
The main character in the show is an early 40s cocky, relationship fearful, single dude who’s claim to fame is being on the reality show, Big Brother. He spends literally 2 seconds looking at profiles of women and deciding if he wants to speak to them or not. While I understand attraction is paramount, he is doing himself a disservice by not looking past the photos and taking a moment to read profiles. There may be a great person behind that bathroom selfie! (Hard to believe, right?)
So, how does one navigate the online dating platforms?
- If you are on an online dating app such as Match.com or Bumble.com, remember to put your best face forward. If you are serious about finding someone, consider having professional photos done. People scroll through endless photos and ones that show up best will stop potential paramours on their tracks!
- Remember that it’s a numbers game. You have to chat with a lot of people to get one date.
- Don’t take it personally if someone stops chatting with you. You’ll connect with a lot of people; many will fall off the charts due to time constraints and lack of interest. Keep your conversations short-this shouldn’t be a place where you pour your heart out. Keep it light, fun and flirty. Save the disclosure for your face to face meeting if you choose to do so. Don’t tell a stranger your innermost thoughts-it’s simply not the place for it. (Trust me on this, please.)
- The longer you are doing online dating, the easier it becomes. Keep at it, and please don’t get discouraged by a couple of rejections or if someone “ghosts” you. Stay the course. I look at dates as an opportunity to potentially meet a new friend, or at the very least, come up with a new dating story. Stay positive! Even if it’s a bad date, you may learn something about yourself, and add to the omnipresent list of what you “don’t want.”
- Before you meet someone, I suggest getting their last name and doing some research. I find it imperative to make sure that someone has a LinkedIn profile. Why? Because if they are a professional, they’ll have one. Once you’ve done your homework, ask around to see if someone knows this person and if they can vouch for them. Most communities are small. Once on the date, make sure you let your friends and family know where you are and check in with them, and check back with them once the date is over. Safety is a big concern for all of us.
Lori Mendelsohn connects people both personally and professionally. With a knack for introducing people who wind up saying, “I do,” she can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Her website is www.smartfunnysingle.com